I can't say please don't judge because I judge myself. I don't want judgement, though I know I deserve it. All I know is I did a horrible thing to my children and I have concluded that I am a terrible mom to them and I do honestly believe that sometimes, they would be better off without me as their mommy. I love my sons. They are perfect, They make me smile every day. They also make me cry at times. But God, I struggle as a mom. I really do. I find it so damn hard. If you have read this, thanks for listening to my obscenely selfish rant. Please don't judge me too harshly. I don't have anyone I can talk to about this which is why I am posting it here.
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